Golden

Today is my birthday. And not just any birthday, but my golden birthday. If it was my goal to live to be 100, my life would be more than a quarter over at this point. That seems almost scary, but then I think about how at least the first 4 years of my life I have few to no memories of (which makes infancy just seem like lost time). And then up until high school I didn't really experience too much in the way of freedom. So I guess I have a lot to look forward too, which should go without saying.

This is also a birthday that comes with no perks to it accept for the experience and wisdom of the past year and the possibility of new beginnings for the next. Now that my car insurance is as low as it will ever be, there are not too many benefits to getting older until AARP starts showing up. I'm certainly in no hurry for that to happen.

I feel as though I am cautiously optimistic about 26. There are some big choices in front of me that I face with both excitement and trepidation. Really, I just want it to be a year of movement and growth. I'm at a point where I want something new, something different. What that will be will take some careful discernment and searching on my part. But I'm geared up for the search and hopeful for what I will find.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to a great day of coffee, movies, a visit with Grandma, and a night out with some great friends!

Treading Water

The wheels have been spinning in my head ever since getting back to Sioux Falls from Christikon: What am I to do now? Where am I to be? What are the years before I turn 30 going to look like (the thought of that age seems so much closer than it did even a year ago)? These questions have weighed down on me for the past few months, and my emotions and thoughts have been all over, per usual.

Upon first returning home, I felt solid. Not that I had any idea of what I was going to do, but I felt ready to be settled somewhere, at least for awhile (but what does that mean?). The allure of jumping from one place to another had largely faded, and finding social, geographical, and job stability seemed so attractive. I was ready to grab onto anything that presented itself. Through the course of the summer, one application after another had been discarded. Maybe not so much discarded as most likely not even looked at. A blessing in disguise, maybe. When it came right down to it, did I really want to feel "settled" with any of these jobs?

What had happened to the idea of planning for my future during the course of travel? Maybe I was so wrapped up in the experience I was having that post-adventure didn't matter all that much. I had been living for the moments I was experiencing...the experience of a lifetime, accord to many whom I talked to. And yet, I had been thinking about it. Jon and I would talk about it on the trail in Turkey, and Tezra and I would guess at what the future might hold on our long bus rides across Latin American borders. Where had the ideas from these conversations escaped to?

That desire for stability has largely faded. What was a feeling of sure desire for a job with the library when I applied in early September had faded to trepidation about my desire to work anywhere long term just six weeks later. Sitting at the coffee shop collecting my thoughts pre-interview left me wondering what I would say if actually offered the job. It came almost as a relief to not have to make that choice when the position wasn't offered.

As I sit and brainstorm what my future holds, I have come to several conclusions. To start with, I can't escape this philosophy that my 20's are meant to be a time of travel, learning, and self-discovery. So, I'm going to continue to embrace it! There are hundreds of options out there for those who want to see, or continue to see, the world and all it has to offer. Next time I go, it will be in a context which sustains itself. A long-term volunteer or work opportunity perhaps. This desire has led me to my next realization: finishing paying off my debt needs to become my priority right now. The coming months will most likely be as if stepping back in time two years. I'm again living at home (which I said I didn't want to do) and looking forward to May. But then summer will come, and I will find myself back in the mountains with many opportunities in front of me. And I'm feeling really good about where I am at right now! The payoff will be huge, and my life is filling up with projects I want to accomplish and things I want to learn about. I'm looking forward to this next part of life.

A few summer photos

Well, these have been a long time coming...but here they are. Some pics from my summer in Montana.

There really isn't too much point of trying to catch this thing up on the past several months. My grand plans of blogging at least once a week really fell through while out in Montana. Partly, this was due to a bad internet connection. Another issue was the amount of times I went out on backpack at the end of the summer (a wonderful problem, to be sure). But there really is no excuse for my not having given a single entry since returning to South Dakota in the middle of August. A lot has happened since then, including vacation down South with the family, and a minor crisis of where my life is going. Turns out, I didn't do as much thinking about it as I thought I had while traveling. I'm finding that that's OK though. I'm in a pretty good place right now, and I'm thankful for that. I have a job interview for the public library in less than two weeks, and am substituting most everyday. This weekend I am in Decorah, IA visiting a number of friends I worked with this past summer. So life is good. I'm optomistic about the future wherever it may lead.

There is a lot to look forward to. If I get this job, then terrific! I have a friend to stay with and could accomplish a lot of projects that have been either put on hold or dreams since I left two Junes ago. Should I not get it, then I have nothing holding me anywhere, and can dream up at least wherever I would like to go. Possibilities, possibilities...

One goal I have is to upload some photos from this summer here, so that will most likely be my next post. On top of that, since I am now in a place where my internet is reliable, there is no reason I cannot accomplish my goal of posting once a week. Come on, something worth typing about has to happen in the span of seven days, right? If not, then that's when I need to ask the question about where is my life going!

Staff Backpack

Yesterday was probably the most strenuous Fourth of July which I have ever experienced. For many it was a day for BBQ's and family and fireworks. Or, if you are like many of my friends, a day for filling your car with fireworks, driving out into the country and "blowing shit up" as one so eloquently put it. For myself and my fellow Christikon staff however, yesterday was a day for getting up at five in the morning, strapping on our boots, and hiking down 3000ft. in the Montana back country to get back to camp.


We spent a total of five days and four nights out in the wilderness, and I for one had a blast. I can't count the number of times someone would comment on how we were being paid to go out and hike, walk through beautiful scenery, and enjoy each other's company.

The start of our trip was met with lightning and a fair amount of rain. This was no treat for anyone, and my mind turned not to walking in the rain but to my hopes of not having to sleep in a damp sleeping bag or clothes. Nothing spoils my mood out on the trail as this scenario does. It did end up raining from time to time, but nothing like that first morning before we left. I almost had to laugh when it started to rain exactly when we sat down to eat dinner together.

The rain held off and on for the first two days of our trip, but we were rewarded with a beautiful, and relatively dry, view in what we call The Never Ending Meadow on our second night. One of the guys along with us ended up getting sick and gave us a little scare, but he thankfully came around after a night's sleep.

Weather-wise, our luck turned that second day and the worst that we had to endure were the freezing morning temperatures of the high country. There were moments when three layers above and below my waist didn't seem like enough. It made the hot beverage water seem like a small miracle in the morning.

This backpack also afforded the opportunity to try some new things. Or, rather, it forced some new things on me. The foremost in my mind is the trail stream crossing. I had never hiked a trail before which required me to take my shoes off, slip into sandals, and walk across water so cold that my feet went numb. Well, I can now say that I have done this! I'm not sure how many streams we crossed, but it happened every day. Some of the water only came to our ankles, and some came all the way up to our knees. Some required us to only stand in it's flow for a few brief moments, and some required a couple of minutes. By far the most daunting was on our last day at seven in the morning. Stepping into a freezing mountain stream when there is still frost on the ground is just a little bit intimidating. It turned out to be quite a surprise when the water felt warmer than it had on any other day.

My mom comes today, along with my aunt and uncle, for a weekend family camp session. We have a brief break after that, and then I get to take out a group of high school youth on backpack with one of my co-counselors!

Christikon!

This post should have happened a long time ago, but the time is just flying here out in the Absorka/Beartooth Wilderness of Montana at Christikon. I guess that is a testament what a positive experience I am having here. Over the past several weeks we have had a family work weekend, a couple weeks of staff training, a camp session with developmentally disabled adults, and are now in our first session with middle school kids.

It is hard to believe that I showed up in the mountains before June started, and even harder to believe that we are only a little over a session away from being half done with the summer. Once the middle school kids leave, we will take a day for a bit of rest and then head out for one more week of staff training on the trail as we prepare for the backpacking programs to start. I look forward to this time as it will be the last stretch of any length that the staff with be together without campers around.

On the whole, our staff has bonded together quicker than I could have imagined. Several folks who are returning for a second or third summer here have all commented on this. It makes me feel good to be involved in a community where people support each other for a common goal. And this word community...It's one that gets tossed around a lot out here, and one in which I have been thinking about for several years, ever since the latter half of my time at Valpo. Lots of people talk about what a special place Christikon is because you can't find a community like this out in the "real world" or back at college. I tell my friends that I have a bit of a different experience. My community at Valpo was like a family. We played together, ate together, cared for each other if we were hurting or sick, and laughed and cried together. Having to leave that community due to graduation is something which I have lamented often over the past few years. Being in this place with these people who care feels like home, and I am grateful for that. With a little luck, our bonds will only become stronger as the summer rolls on.

The mountains which surround this place continue to inspire me, and the sound of the Boulder River on the other side of the road is a peaceful one when I take the time to stop and listen. As the rains of late May and early June seem to be giving way to warmer temps and bluer skies, I look to the weeks ahead with anticipation and a sense of peace.

Colorado and thoughts before Montana

A couple of days ago, I left Sioux Falls in a white GMC pickup headed for Denver and the mountains of Colorado. Driving West is one of my favorite things to do. Of course, I didn't like the rain which greeted me around Omaha, but the clear skies of Central Nebraska and beyond brought nothing but good feelings. My aunt had asked me to drive this truck out for her, and I was happy to oblige. The trip went off without a hitch, and the time with my aunt and her friend Bill was as fun as usual.

Friday morning found me up early, ready to catch the morning Amtrak into Glenwood Springs. I had never ridden this section of the California Zephyr line. The scenery was astounding as we rode up into the mountains and along the Colorado River. My friend Tezra greeted me by surprise at the train station on her lunch break, and we walked my bags up to the house.

Glenwood Springs just really holds my heart. It isn't only the wonderful friends which I have here, but the charm of the town and extensive outdoor activities on its doorstep. During my few days here we engaged in so many activities. One morning Tezra and I went hiking. Then that afternoon Katie, Holly, Tezra, and I took out an inflatable kayak and "raft" on the river. Later that same day, the four of us went biking out in the canyon. Holly and I also ran in rain and 38 degree weather one morning. We even took a day trip out to Arches National Park in Utah! Yes, I really do love it out here!

Now I turn my head to this summer and my job at Christikon. I will be leaving this afternoon on the Greyhound to begin the near 30 hour process of getting to camp. For certain I will be exhausted upon arrival. However, I have a feeling that I will muster the energy needed to get to know everyone once I get there. My nerves are at easy, and I am more curious than anything to see what is in store for me this summer (as well as after the summer ends).